How To Manage Stress When Caring For A 4-year-old Child?
Hello, .. I am a housewife, I am 26 years old, I have a daughter aged 4 years … my child is healthy, active, smart too. But, he revealed something whining. If he wants something, he doesn’t, “mamma, want this, want that”. But even whining that I can’t understand. I ask, what do you want? Then I ask. But cma whine, cranky .. over time I feel annoyed .. what else if the incident in front of the people. I am ashamed. If you are shy, you get angry, if you don’t want to, you get angry … what’s wrong with my child? What kind of character will disappear when he gets older? Then what happens is the problem again, I am stressed every day to face such a rich child. If I can’t hold it in, I end up yelling at kids, I’m angry at kids with a loud tone. It also makes me stressed, so it’s a burden for me, why can’t I stand being angry? Why do I have to yell at the kids? I’m sorry .. what should I do?
Wa alaikumsalam, thank you for asking at HealthReplies.com. We understand your feelings. Being a parent is indeed a lot of challenges, one of which is trying to understand what the child wants, when they can't express it properly.
If we want to think and see it from a broader side, this condition has actually been around for a long time. When your child is a baby, there is nothing he can do but cry. When he is hungry, thirsty, stomach ache, itching, diapers are full or just looking for attention, all he uttered by crying. You have to rack your brain to find out what he wants. And we believe that at that time you were not as upset as you are now in dealing with it, because in general understanding, babies naturally can only cry. The difference is that now, you think that your child should be able to speak well, so that when he whines, you don't think it's normal anymore and you get upset.
Though it could be for your child, to express it is still difficult. For example, when at some point in time you have, consciously or not, scolded, yelled at or pinched him when he asked for something, he thought that if he asked, it would make you angry, so he would prefer to whine. It may be that he is embarrassed to say, or even do not know the name of the object or activity he wants. All of this might happen because after all, your child is still a toddler.
In responding to this, even though it may be difficult to practice, you still shouldn't scold and yell at your children, because that will make them more closed to you. If you are impatient, take it out on another matter, share assignments with your husband, ask your parents-in-law or help, or if everything is not possible, just go ahead and try to understand that this is a process that likes or dislikes some parents must go through. Don't take it out on children. Once again we know this is difficult, but this is the best. You do not have to force yourself to change drastically, but try to be more patient with children. As he gets older, of course his vocabulary will increase and he will be easier to communicate.
If indeed you already feel overwhelmed and confused, ask for professional help, be it a psychologist, or a child psychiatrist. Ask about your child's condition, convey all your complaints, and later will be helped together to find a way out. The point is again, don't assume your child is an adult. If an adult can't express his desires well, it's only natural that we get upset. But your child is still a toddler. Understand that he may have certain difficulties in expressing his desires for one reason or another, and yelling at him will not make his condition better. That way, you hope that you will be more empathetic to your child, and can be more patient. So, hopefully answering your question.