How To Overcome Distrust Of Yourself And Eliminate Past Trauma?

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Illustration: How To Overcome Distrust Of Yourself And Eliminate Past Trauma? goodtherapy.org

I am a 23-year-old woman, so here you are, I have a concern for myself that influences my level of confidence to start a relationship like dating / marriage. I am just a child of a farm worker who used to work hard at school well and is diligent. I used to think that even though I come from a poor family, I can show that I have other advantages such as good achievements, from childhood to college, my academic grades are good, even I graduated with cum laude 3.69, my non-academic achievements are also good. I once represented championship school olympics u0026amp; Univ pencaksilat and several times won the champion, I was also active in various volunteer activities etc. even several times was appointed as a leader. Currently I have worked in one of the large private companies in Indonesia with a sizable salary u0026amp; The position is quite promising, but my beliefs and worries about me have not disappeared even though it has passed the incident where in the past when I was in college I was in a relationship with someone, just left because I came from a poor family who went to college because of scholarships. love with a friend of mine, not so close but quite familiar, but in the past he also broke several spirits and looked down on me just because I was poor I was considered unable to achieve what I dreamed of, after being left I was determined to prove it and succeed But behind that actually my self-confidence was broken. After years (towards the 4th year) My self-concern is still there, I’m afraid of starting a new relationship like dating / getting married, my worries arise when I experience myself it feels abandoned by him and underestimated and also the background of my extended family that is quite messy : my uncle who likes to gamble, my grandfather who had an affair, quarreled household that I have witnessed myself etc., I am afraid to start a serious relationship, but not afraid to make friends with anyone, I am even more afraid of having a relationship than meeting clients, I am not afraid Talking in front of many people is important though, but I am afraid that when someone starts talking about a serious relationship with me, I have never had a relationship again since I was abandoned, even though those who approach me are always there. And I find it hard to believe in others. Is there any advice from the doctor what should I do to overcome those concerns ???

1 Answer:

Hello Sholik,


Sometimes a person experiences fear of starting a relationship or is afraid of falling in love. This can be caused by past trauma, for example, a broken heart. If the fear is disturbing, it can cause other complaints such as shortness of breath, palpitations, nausea, and excessive sweating when dealing with romance. This condition is called philophobia / phobia in love.


To help resolve your complaint, you can try the following tips:

Make peace with the past, forgive the person who hurt you and also forgive yourself then
Learning from the past, discuss with your partner later related to your family background from the beginning to establish a relationship with you
Discard negative thoughts and try to always think positive
Rest assured that being in love makes you happier
Rest assured that many people like you for who you are however your family's condition because they see positive things in you

If you still find it difficult and still afraid to start a new relationship, I suggest that you consult with a psychologist or psychiatrist so that you can be given assistance to overcome the problem you feel.


Hope it helps you,


Thank you

: by

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