Often Afraid When Dealing With Sex Organs.?

In the morning I was married 24 years old but already divorced during my marriage I never felt no pain when having sex with my husband .. always felt tense at the beginning and sore at the end … even though there were no complaints in my womb … and now I am about to open an IUD KB but I always feel scared until finally trying it feels very painful I feel excessive anxiety .. sweat .. heart palpitations and cannot relax .. all my body trembles until finally my IUD KB cannot be open .. because faithfully there is something approaching the intimate area I immediately tense and scared .. what is my psychological disorder .. therefore I do not want to remarry

1 Answer:

Hello Nurull,


Thank you for asking HealthReplies.com.

Excessive fear can be the basis for a variety of physical complaints, including pain, tension, tremors, excessive sweating, and heart palpitations as you feel during intercourse. It needs to be explored more deeply, what really triggers your fears, is it because you are afraid of pain, are you afraid of your partner, are you worried about not being able to satisfy your partner, or what? Of course, you alone know the best source of your fear.


Indeed, obstacles in sexual relations most often begin with psychological disorders, including because of fear or excessive anxiety as you experience. This condition can cause vaginismus, which is an unconscious vaginal muscle spasm, which is often associated with negative sexual behavior, lack of sexual education, disharmony in relationships with sexual partners, or also related to a history of physical violence or sexual violence in the past. Vaginismus often not only raises complaints around the vagina, but also accompanied by other physical symptoms as mentioned above.


Although generally not dangerous, however, your condition if not handled properly can disrupt the harmony of your relationship with your partner later (for example if you remarry). Not only that, indirectly, negative self-views as a result of this can also affect your interactions with other people around you, including also disrupt your function in working and carrying out daily activities.


It is your right to determine whether you want to get married again or not. However, as a normal human being, of course you do not want to live alone continuously right? However, humans still need other humans to live life, whether it is a husband, or other close relatives.


Our advice, you consult your complaints directly to the doctor or psychiatric specialist (psychiatrist) to be evaluated more deeply, whether your condition is included in the phobia of sex or not. Doctors will generally conduct in-depth psychiatric interviews to explore what are the exact factors behind your current complaints. Furthermore, treatment can be done by a variety of ways doctors, including with good sex education, psychotherapy, group therapy, to the administration of drugs if necessary. It could also, the doctor coordinates with an obstetrician or sexologist in providing the best management for you.


What you need to live at this time:

Remove all negative stigma related to sex and sexual relations
Increase your knowledge of sex and sexual relations from appropriate sources, such as biology books, health magazines, or attend marriage counseling and seminars
Broaden your social environment, multiply interact with many types of people
Improve the quality of yourself, be yourself, make you comfortable interacting with others
Increase empathy, treat others as you want to be treated, so that other people will be more comfortable interacting with you
Establish good interpersonal relationships, based on mutual trust, with good communication
Avoid risky sex (such as sex outside of marriage)
If you have a problem, reveal it, don't keep it buried yourself, try to find a solution to the problem, don't think about it too complicated to stress you out
If later you get married, communicate well to your partner, what kind of sexual relationship they like, and accept each other as they are.
Always live a healthy lifestyle, away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes

Hope this helps ...

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