Often Feels Himself The Most Useless?
I want to ask all of you tell me a little bit about my past which is quite bad and sad. When I was in high school, I was dating with my classmates, for the first time I tried things we shouldn’t have done. We were the same for the first time, trying those things. Until one time my ex-boyfriend asked me to send my naked photo, and I thought long love. That was my worst mistake during my life. I admit. And a few months later, it turned out that my naked photos were scattered in all schools until they were bought and sold, at that time my ex-girlfriend left me because of the reason “I spread myself” even though it was probably me who was spreading. It turned out that after finding out, what spread was my ex-friend’s friend. At that time for me the world was devastated, I was ashamed. I was left by my ex, I was left by my friends (only my friends were there at the time) and once when I was studying in class, my classmate’s cell phone was confiscated, when my teacher was checking for a confiscated cellphone, suddenly my teacher saw a photo naked me. And he knew that was me. I was devastated at that time. And at that time my ex-girlfriend had a new boyfriend. I feel like I’m a gap of no one. Cm My brother and sister who always support me. In my destruction at that time, I had intended to kill myself by taking my hands, taking my joint medication until I was almost OD (I had a small joint pain), I did not go to school for weeks, because I was bullied by my older sister, abused by my older sister. Every day I get bad treatment because of the photo case. Until I moved schools which in my opinion could make me more calm. But apparently not, people at my school also bully me. Until there are students who give my photos to my own teacher. IM destroyed. That one. That was a difficult time for me and I felt like 7 years had passed, but still like someone who sent me my naked photos through social media. Passing those times was very difficult for me, I found it hard to find a sincere friend, I found it hard to find a good partner. Until finally I met with good people around me at this time, I met my girlfriend who has been running for 4 years, I was happy to know her until now, many of the defenses she gave me when I was blasphemed by people. But every time I and he fought, I always felt that I was the victim. Even though I was hurt, I was hurting, and it was bad for my spouse every time I had problems with my family, I felt that I was the victim. At first I was not aware of what I was doing, until finally my boyfriend made me realize. And from the problem 7 years ago I have until now every had the slightest problem, I think I have to hurt myself. I like the corners of my body, my chest, my thighs, because for me when I’ve hit myself, I’m calm. which I was crying for, I suddenly stopped, which I was angry at all of a sudden the power stopped because I had hit myself I was, for me it was a calm to me. Once when my sinuses recurred, I was in pain, my head, my teeth and my cheeks hurt, and I hit my nose until it was swollen and bruised. What is wrong with me? Even now I feel that I have two personalities. When I’m happy, I overdo my excessive pleasure, but suddenly I can be quiet and feel I’m the saddest person, and all the negative things that people do from the past until now are directly in my brain. I must what? I’m confused if I’m sick? Do I have a mental disorder? Please answer. Sorry if my story is too sensitive.
Good afternoon, thank you for asking at HealthReplies.com. We understand your concern. Everyone has their past, some are dark, some are fun, some are traumatic, some are sad, and whichever it is, we cannot choose it. In dealing with these events, as you experience, the body has different responses. Because of his condition at that time you were young, it is natural that you are then shaken and feel that no one around you is on your side.
That condition causes your mind to make new understandings, such as' I would be better if I hurt myself ',' I am the most guilty person or my past ',' I am the one who causes torture for myself ',' my sins cannot be forgiven ',' no one supports me ', and so on. Regarding this, if you really hurt yourself, of course you can say there is a mental disorder.
But do not think that mental disorders are just crazy. Most Indonesians are still too narrow-minded by saying that mental disorders are just like crazy people off the street. Mental disorders are very broad, and should not be ashamed if you have them. What's wrong with Indonesians is that they feel it is more natural to see people with HIV or sexually transmitted diseases because of behavior that violates the norms and laws, rather than seeing people who experience mental disorders precisely because they are victims of an event in his life. The point is that we want to convey is that you do not need to be ashamed of the possibility that you have a mental disorder.
What you need to understand is mental disorders like anything, still requires examination and direct treatment by experts, namely psychiatrists. Mental disorders, not illnesses, which can be bought at the pharmacy. Mental disorders are complex diseases, involving a variety of things, even people outside the patient itself. So we suggest you check your condition with a psychiatrist, tell your problem as much as you want. From there your psychiatrist can advise you, provide therapy, how to change the dark past to be more easily accepted, digested, and understood in a series of ways.
Meanwhile, what you need to grasp is the fact that you are not alone. Many people are less fortunate than you, but are able to rise. And you can be one of them. So, hopefully answering your question.