The Trauma That Made Me Want To Kill Myself?
Hello, I have a question. When I was in junior high school, I was subjected to physical bullying by my seniors. And since elementary school I got bullying from words. Until junior high I was fine and still able to interact well. But when I was in high school, I got verbal bullying again. So that I was often reluctant to go to school and moved to another school. Then because of differences in environmental culture, I was reluctant to interact with other people. I became quiet and even irritable. In middle school, I tried to commit suicide. But failed. Even now, when I am 21 years old, I still want to end my life. I often feel uncomfortable and find it difficult to interact with other people. I find it difficult to express my opinion. I am often afraid that other people will hate me. When I was 4th semester on my campus. I am alone. In fact, I often don’t want to go to the campus and shut myself up in my room. In fact, sometimes when the person in my house asks me to talk, I just reply a few words and then go into the room. Semester 6 I made new friends. However, I still couldn’t interact well with them. People always say that my attitude is weird. I am often depressed when people reply to my words with their cold expressions. Often I cry in the room. I always thought that no one expected me in this world. Makes me motivated to end my life. Am I suffering from bullying or other trauma? thanks.
Hello Annisa, thank you for sharing your problem and consulting with the HealthReplies.com Team.
Bullying is a form of feeling superior behavior that is used to intimidate others in the form of verbal or physical violence. Bullying of any kind is wrong. Even the perpetrator can be subject to legal sanctions. Victims of bullying will experience many negative impacts such as mental disorders which result in disruption of daily activities. From the symptoms that you express above, there are several possible conditions that you are experiencing, including:
Depressive episodes. In the PPDGJ-III book (Guidelines for Classification and Diagnosis of Mental Disorders), depressive episodes are classified as mood disorders. The main symptoms that arise are depressive effects, loss of interest, reduced energy so that you are easily tired and decreased activity. In addition, there are other symptoms such as decreased concentration, reduced self-esteem, guilt, pessimism, sleeplessness, decreased appetite, and thoughts of suicide. In severe episodes may be accompanied by delusions (wrong thoughts and beliefs) or hallucinations. If you experience 2 of the 3 main symptoms above for at least 2 weeks, it can be categorized as a depressive episode. Recurrent depressive disorder. Experiencing at least 2 depressive episodes, in which the patient makes a complete recovery (no symptoms appear). Post-traumatic stress disorder. Triggered by an extraordinary life event / stress causing symptoms within 6 months of the incident. Patients experience disturbances in their social function. Usually always imagined about this incident. Symptoms can include depression, anxiety, feelings of anger, disappointment. These symptoms can disappear in some sufferers if they are kept away from the stress factors. Adjustment interference. Appears as a result of a situation and life crisis that started. Symptoms that appear can vary from depression, anxiety, behavior disorders, and inability to carry out routine daily activities. Usually occurs 1 month after the incident and does not last more than 6 months. With Mbak Annisa's current condition, you should further consult with a mental health specialist to get immediate treatment. The doctor will ask a number of things related to complaints that are experienced now, past events that are connected, then the doctor will usually provide drug therapy, psychotherapy and counseling. The main factor that determines healing is from yourself and also a strong support system, for example from your family and partner.
Some suggestions that might help improve the current condition are:
Share the problems you have with your family or people who live at home. Sometimes people around us are not aware / responsive to the situation we are experiencing because we do not tell them. Help we can receive, for example by looking after us when there are thoughts of suicide, helping to increase self-confidence, helping by filling free time with activities with family so that strange thoughts can be ignored. Get some exercise. When exercising the body will produce endorphins which can cause feelings of happiness. In addition to a healthy body, our feelings will be better. Listening to cheerful and calming music. Music will stimulate the brain to produce more dopamine which will improve mood. Join the community. You are not alone in this world. There are many people who may experience complaints similar to yours. Find out about these communities, exchange stories and strengthen your self-confidence. Traveling. Traveling to new places and enjoying beautiful nature might make you grateful for the life you already have. There are still many places in the world that you should be able to enjoy, while where you are now you don't feel like supporting you, there are many other places that you can stop by. Active in religious activities, diligent in worship. I think all true religions never teach and justify ending life. Love yourself! Believe that everyone is created equal, we are not the same, but everyone has their own uniqueness and strengths. Love every flaw you have both in body, appearance, behavior. Humans are given reason, to be able to turn these shortcomings into strengths. We can continue to learn to be better ourselves. Annisa's spirit, I hope you can get well soon and do your activities well. Hopefully my explanation above can be useful.
Dr. Saphira Evani