What Do I Have To Do To Overcome My Trauma And Depression?
Hello, good night doctor HealthReplies.com … I want to ask, I have a social trauma in the form of being abandoned by my best friend when I was in middle school. At that time I considered him like my own brother, because I was very close to him and also his family. At that time I felt something different from him ever slowly away from me and I asked my friend one more, and he questioned him, and the answer asked me for self-reflection. One school knew that I was very close to him so that when I was at a distance they all asked about our relationship being tenuous and rarely even exchanging greetings. Long story short, there was another friend who instigated him to say that I used the facilities he had, even though that wasn’t true. I am very sad, my heart hurts. And if I remember now I still harbor that pain. When I was in high school we were in a different province, and I chatted to him on Facebook, I asked him why he was staying away from me, but he was angry. Until now I have difficulty trusting other people, even I’m traumatized if I have to have a close female friend, what else if there is a girl friend that I have wellcome she even lied to me about things that I consider “why should I lie? what “and that made me close my heart’s desire to accept a female friend. And after what happened earlier, my best friends were all boys, there were 3 people I considered best friends, 2 people from my middle school days, and 1 more during high school. Honestly I’m cramped, bored, because I don’t have many female friends, I feel alone, very alone. Because I realized that I needed a female friend, but I was afraid that the incident would repeat itself, I really did not like being lied to, in fact I was sincere if someone wanted to embrace me to make me his best friend. Remembered my junior high school friend never went to school because of illness, and when I called I cried. Because I love people who are close to me. I want to be embraced without seeing my bad side first, I just don’t like being lied to. And now I have graduated from S1. I feel still alone. I have a girlfriend, and we have been 4 years. He is one of my confidants, although not all the problems I can tell him, but lately I do not feel very alone. Because a few days ago I met him, and he said that I should not be too childlike. Don’t just hang out with my younger sibling. The way I talk is also broken down when talking to other people. Approach his family if he wants to marry him. I am less independent / spoiled to my parents. I am very aware, if I really need a friend to share all the stories I want to tell. And I lack the confidence to socialize with many people because my physique is not infrequently scorned by people, but I pretend not to care, but actually I really think about it. Secondly, the way I say / what I say is what I am, not socializing with people in college, I have not been at home with parents since grade 2 until now, I am boarding. I am as I am speaking, but I have a way that I think is still polite when it comes to people who are older with me. Or is my girlfriend too demanding that I be what she asked? Thirdly, I have tried to be close to his family, but honestly, I don’t like being too thick / caper / being someone else just to be accepted by his family. Because I want them to accept me for who I am, because I have also accepted his family for what I am, I have no problem. I also don’t like having to brag a lot, I’m relaxed. But I feel I was not accepted, I am honestly honest … Now I feel very tired, because no one can help me now, no one wants to listen to me, understand me. I myself. I haven’t worked yet, because I still need a thesis revision. Actually there are still many that I want to tell about my problems. But I think that’s enough for now, please help me, what should I do now? Because it feels like I want to leave here, I want to find a new environment, for I can start socializing well. Because here I was already closed and ignorant. Please
Hello Nani, thank you for telling HealthReplies.com.
Previously, Nani needed to realize that feeling sad because being left behind by someone who meant so much was very natural. No need to blame yourself for the feeling of being alone and sad. Not only children who can be sad and do not want to feel alone, adults can actually feel the same thing. Certainly very sad if a friend who is usually close to us leaves us without telling us why, because we cannot defend ourselves or clarify the truth. But if this is thought about continuously, it could be disrupting Nani's activities and Nani's relationships with the people around Nani who actually love Nani sincerely.
As time goes by and we get older, we will become more mature. Not everyone will stay in our lives. Many people will come and go, leaving good and bad impressions. Nani also needs to be aware of this and don't need to worry about it until she is afraid to make friends with other female friends.
Occasionally feeling nervous and afraid of not being fully accepted by others is a natural thing, but if Nani experiences irrational fear, for example until Nani does not want to start friendships or even conversations with other people, fear of not being accepted so that she hides her own desires or personalities, always trying to please others without thinking about themselves, so that Nani missed many opportunities, Nani should consult with a psychologist to get appropriate help. It seems that currently going out and looking for a new environment is not a permanent solution, if thoughts and lack of confidence are still felt. If left unchecked, this can cause depression or other more severe disorders.
Basically, we need to be comfortable and know ourselves first. If we already know ourselves, know what our potential is and keep developing ourselves, we don't need to rely too much on others and can be more confident to socialize. Do not hesitate to consult with professionals, in this case a psychologist or psychiatrist if your feelings above interfere with Nani's activities, socialization and work.